Kristin and I were musing the other day about priorities, friendships, and family. We were discussing how do we decide how much time and energy on the things we care about versus not getting caught up in the petty bullshit of every day life.
This remind me of the $100 bill approach. I shamelessly stole this idea from another blog or book I read at some point. You only have so much time, energy to devote to the various components of your life. That $100 bill represents the time, energy, and money you allocate to the aspects of life that are important to you.
Spend a minute and think, what are things you spend “negative” energy on? Some extreme examples:
- Going to work and coping with a bad manager or team
- Dealing with daily stress and anxiety in an unhealthy manner: smoking, drugs, alcohol, etc…
- Listening to whiny people
Spend another minute and think, what are the things that are important to you long term? My favorites:
- Personal health
- A meaningful relationship with your spouse
- Family
- Friends
- Financial independence
Each day you’re faced with how you will spend your energy. Will you spend it on the good things in your life, or spend it on the negative things?
Take that $100 and plan an energy/time budget. You invest $30 on your spouse, $30 on your career, $20 on family, and now you’re left with $20. What are you doing to do with that $20?
I decide that I’ll spend that last $20 on myself. I want to get in shape, so I use the rest of my budget to get me to the running trail every day after work.
That $20 is magical.
Why? Because it begets a lot of other things that are important to me. Spending that energy on a run every day means, I get in shape, it helps me be in a better mood for my spouse, family, and my job , and if I look hard enough, I find friends that enjoy the same hobby.
I’d rather spend the $20 of energy on positive things versus spending that $20 of energy in drowning my sorrows with cheap scotch, waking up, and nursing a raging hangover (because of said, cheap scotch). I’m not going to spend that $20 on things that drag me down or keep me from doing things that help other priorities in my life, unless the scotch is really, really, good.
Saying yes or no to things can be checked against my budget. Should I have that extra beer at dinner or go to bed early for my morning run? Should I hang out with that person that drags me down, or spend the time with my spouse and family?
It’s not always so cold and calculated. Being human means we bend the rules and do what’s best for the moment. Out of this exercise you begin to realize why it’s easier to say no to things and it’s also easier for you to accept when people say no to you.
Spend that $100 wisely.