I ran across this article a while back which I was musing for a while…

“Where are you from?”  The gentleman and his wife asked my father while we were waiting in line to order our food.

They repeated the question to each of us kids while we stared back in bewilderment.

Seconds pass and the couple jumps into game-show mode, they began listing off the little bit of Asian geography they knew, “China, no?!  What about… Taiwan!  No?  Ok, Japan, it’s gotta be Japan!”

My father casually explained, we’re of Thai and Malaysian descent, with the three of us children being born here in the United States.  The strangers give an excited look to each other and then insist that we look so Chinese.

Throughout my childhood and adult life, I’ve had to deal with this casual racism.  The kind you shrug off because it takes way too much effort to correct people.

It’s tiring to hear.

I’m not here to whine about the racism I face of have endured or will face – there have been far worst cases that I have had the fortunate privilege of avoiding completely.

I’d like to explain why it’s tiring:

It’s tiring because everything I say or do is measured subconsciously with what people think of me as an Asian male.

When I step “out of character”, being the soft-spoken, timid, Asian male, people around me assume I have a short temper or I’m getting riled up.  Replace me with a non-minority male, and that person is just being adamant about making a point.

Let me pose a hypothetical question, skim through 4 minutes of Steve Jobs being angry throughout his career.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_5KcoSwmg4

In hindsight, he’s this amazing creator and visionary of Apple products.

Would a minority leader be held in such regard if he or she acted the same way?  Honestly?

I was talking to another coworker of color, she mentioned that minorities often have to work twice as hard to get recognition, acquire skills, and experiences that grow their career.

It’s tiring because I’ve had to put 2x+ that effort into my own career, repeatedly.  I have to fight my desire to be soft-spoken and timid.  It may seem easy to those that don’t know me because I’ve spent my entire life practicing (being an extrovert certainly helps too).

These are all small pieces of why it’s tiring.

It’s really tiring because I’m only one person and I wish I had the energy, resources, and time to fix all of it.

I’m going to do my damned best though, even if it takes 2x the effort.