A mentee pinged me recently about imposter syndrome, asking if and how I have overcome it.

With my recent 5 year anniversary at Netflix, I’d like to share my thoughts on this industry-wide topic.

I’ve tried to overcome imposter syndrome and while it’s not nearly as bad as before, it still surfaces every once in a while.

Before I go into how I tackle it, let’s define imposter syndrome.

In my experience, imposter syndrome usually is more of an emotional response to what you’re facing and it’s usually something you haven’t faced before.  It’s the anxiety, dread, or maybe sadness that you’re not good enough, don’t have experience, expertise, or sense of belonging.    

It’s this feeling that you’ve faked your way into a situation and now you’re going to have to pretend even harder to “survive” and not be seen as a fake.  It’s also a feeling that you have to know everything that you can’t ask help for.

Now to talk about how I’ve (slowly) gotten better at understanding and controlling this feeling.

What’s worked well for me, has been to break down the problem or challenge I’m faced with.  I break down the problem and methodically work through the things I need to understand to find a solution.  I try to focus that anxiety and dread into asking myself some questions: 

1.  How can I break this problem down into smaller pieces?  Do I need to get help in this destructuring?  Where can I get this help?  

2.  Do I have enough knowledge to solve those pieces?  If not, where can I go to gain that knowledge? 

3.  Now that I have the knowledge, how can I solve these smaller pieces? 

4.  Am I working towards solving the original problem or do I need to course correct a bit?

Having this model will help give you a roadmap into building experience and confidence in situations that make you feel like you don’t belong.  Doing this often enough will create muscle memory, and your mind and body will start to use this pattern instead of resorting to the emotional response described above.

One of the best examples I have of using this model is in my approach tackling long distance running and triathlons, specifically running 1/2 and full marathons.

Instead of panicking about how I’m going to run anywhere from 13 to 26 miles and thinking I’m lazy, I break down the process into smaller components, which fits roughly into the framework above:

1.  What distance am I running?  How much training do I need?  What does my weekly mileage look like?  How far out on the calendar is the race?  Where I am currently with my running fitness?  What does my training plan look like?    

2.  What have other people done to train for this race?  Are there details about this course I need to know?  What will the weather be like?  Is it a morning or evening race?  Do I need to bring any special clothing or gear for this race?  Do I need to tune my diet for the distance I’m training for?  

3.  Given the weather, distance, course details, and my current fitness, what does my weekly training look like?  Do I need to wake up early each day or move early morning meetings around?  Do I need to shop for specific groceries to help with my training diet?   

4.  How do I track my weekly mileage and stay on target?  Can I join a running group to help with accountability? 

With the above model, I’ve ran dozens of 1/2 marathons, a few triathlons, and two marathons.  My anxiety fades once I break down the race and have a strategy for my approach.  The rest of my energy is spent on executing my training plan.

To reiterate, instead of looking at the entire problem and feeling dejected, break the problem down into smaller pieces and work through understanding and solving those smaller pieces first.  You have to reset the unrealistic expectation that you can’t ask for help, and remove the notion that you need to know everything right away.

With some practice and effort, this becomes second nature and that imposter syndrome will fade.  I don’t think it ever fully goes away, we just get better at feeling comfortable in uncomfortable situations.  In order to grow and be successful, you cannot be afraid to ask for help nor be the smartest person in the room.

The last bit to tackling imposter syndrome – you should always be learning.  No one will ever have “all” the answers or will have worked with “all” the frameworks.  The more you learn and have a willingness to learn, the better you’ll get at tackling the unknown.  The people you work with, managers, teammates, and peers will grow to respect you even more when you show the attitude of asking for help and learning.